Why Your Goals Should Be About Who You’re Becoming
When I think back on the goals I’ve actually finished, I can’t help but look at the journey. It wasn’t just about where I was when the idea hit me, but who I wanted to be. The most successful goals were the ones that transformed me along the way.
Most of the time, I didn’t set out to “transform.” I just wanted to cross a line. But when I finally got there, a shift had happened.
- When I finished the Twin Cities Marathon: I became a runner who ran marathons.
- When I decided to teach yoga: I became a business owner.
- When I moved to London: I became international.
It wasn’t a sudden flip of a switch. It happened step by step, identity by identity.
The Marathon Identity:
- Now: I am a runner.
- The Work: I am training for a marathon.
- The Result: I am a marathoner.
The Business Identity:
- Now: I practice yoga.
- The Work: I teach yoga.
- The Result: I own a yoga business.
The Global Identity:
- Now: I live in New Hampshire.
- The Work: I lived in France, the UK, and the Cayman Islands.
- The Result: I have international experience.
Each goal started with a vision, but it only worked because I became the person I needed to be to get it done.
The “Athlete” and the Crackers
I love to exercise. I always have. I love the way my body feels when I’m pushing for that extra mile or feeling my muscles work during a lifting session. Because of that, I’ve always called myself an athlete.
But I also love chocolate and crackers.
One day I looked at myself and realized I needed to lose weight. I had to face the fact that just because I work out daily, it doesn’t mean I can metabolize all the sugar I was eating. I tried to stop, but it was hard—so hard. It took me months to realize I needed a nutrition coach to hold me accountable.
More importantly, I needed someone to help me define what an “athlete” actually is. When I held my definition of an athlete up against my actual habits, there was a total disconnect.
In my mind, an athlete is someone who understands the mechanics of their body. They are optimizing their workouts to be efficient. They see food as fuel—nourishment that balances out the physical work.
I realized I wasn’t an athlete. I was just someone who worked out often.
I wanted that title, though. So, with my coach, I started looking at the “input and output.” It was a slow shift. I ate fewer crackers (and man, was it hard), but I noticed the extra protein and veggies were actually stopping my night sweats. By cutting the sugar, my mood leveled out.
I stopped thinking, “I worked out, I deserve this chocolate bar,” and started thinking, “Will this nourish me? Is this how an athlete eats?”
After two months, the night sweats were gone, I saw muscles I’d never seen before, and I finally felt like I was becoming an athlete.
The “Blogger” vs. The “Writer”
I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I struggle with that word. I envision a “Writer” as someone with published books and a fan base. Since I’m not there yet, I feel like an imposter using the title.
Right now, I feel more comfortable saying I’m a blogger. I have proof of that—I have a site with content. My goal is to write about the process of achieving goals once a week.
But there is still a gap between what I am (a blogger) and what I want to be (a writer). I know that once I reconcile the two, I’ll get there. I’ll become a writer as I walk the path.
For those of you starting a side hustle, you probably feel this too. You might feel comfortable calling yourself a “hobbyist” or “someone with an idea,” but “Business Owner” or “CEO” feels too big. You’re waiting for the finish line to claim the title.
But the transformation happens in the “nitty gritty” habits.
My Framework: Commit, Create, Celebrate
To bridge the gap between blogger and writer, I’m following a simple loop:
- Commit: I’ve committed to a weekly post.
- Create: I’m creating the space to write and adopting the habits of writers I admire.
- Celebrate: The celebration happens the moment the post goes live.
I think about Stephen King’s book On Writing. The cover is just him at his desk. It’s a glimpse of a ritual he’s kept for years. I will become a writer when I make that same commitment to the ritual. Maybe it happens slowly, or maybe I’ll look up after 10 weeks and realize that having 10 new posts makes me a writer after all.
Let’s Get Tactical
If you are trying to start your side hustle or hit a health goal, you have to find the time where your focus is actually available.
For me, that’s 10:00 AM. Each day, I set aside 20 minutes to write. It’s the time of day when I usually lose focus, and writing actually helps me get it back. I know this is the best time for me because I’ve spent time tracking my energy and reviewing my day.
What about you? If you want to start that side business, what is the one habit that the “Future You” does every day?
[Here is a free daily tracker] to help you find that 20-minute window in your own schedule. Let’s start the “becoming” part together.