I committed to meditating, three days ago.

With all I’ve read and all the people who I’ve talked to about their journey, meditation seems to be at the core, so I figured I have nothing to lose. So, threes night ago, just before I lay down to go to sleep, I set my timer for five minutes. Then I sat very, very still. It went something like this…

Darkness, no words, sounds, sights, just dark.

“So people do yoga so they can sit still?”

Darkness

“This is easy”

Darkness

“Should I be thinking of something? How about imagining a bright light – Yes! That’s what I did when I was a passenger on Michael’s motorcycle- to keep cars from hitting us- I thought of myself as a bright light, or light shining out of me at them, ok, I can do that.”

Some white spots.

“Focus the light at the heart, or head, or arms, or everywhere- yes, think of the light beaming everywhere”

“Just observe these thoughts”

Darkness

And that was the fifteen seconds or so.

The second night was a little better in that there seemed to be a bit less discussion, but many similar thoughts. The third night was more like this,

“Five minutes – do I hear Michael? What will he think seeing me sitting straight up in be? Ha! Ok, quiet. Hurry up!”

Darkness.

“Was that him? He’s brushing his teeth, ok, so I have about two minutes before he comes in, wait, I think I have at least three minutes of meditating. Hurry up!”

Darkness

“What’s that?! Here he comes!”

I turned the timer off, lay down. Then waited. I fell asleep waiting.

Needless to say, I cut it short.

I’ve found myself thinking about meditating and how to do it, often. I think of checking it out on youtube, headspace, google, or just giving it a go until I figure it out.

I’m reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and decided I’d do some reading before meditating and then bed. I opened the book to my bookmark and boom- there it was an entire chapter on how to mediate, complete with a mantra!!!! So, last night I gave it a shot- I followed the instructions and just like that, I was meditating.

Please, don’t misunderstand. I didn’t become a meditation pro, but I did feel a bit more comfortable with what I was doing and with the voice in my head. In fact, he said that it’s good to have the voice because that means that what I’m meditating on is resonating and the ego is getting a little uncomfortable. When the ego gets uncomfortable, she speaks up and that’s the voice that I hear.

So, what’s the bullet point way to do this you’re asking….

This is all from the chapter called; Living in Your Zone of Genius; Using the Ultimate Success Mantra to Thrive in Love, Abundance, and Creativity. The chapter begins with a bit of background on meditation. He mentions that a mantra is frequently used because it offers a way to stay grounded- so when the thoughts are running amuck, you have a lifeline to grab onto and pull you back. But then, he said something that hooked me. He said that “it’s ok if the mind wanders, that it’s not a bad thing or something to get upset about. He said it’s normal and to expect it. And that the more we expect it, the more open to it we become, the less the struggle to quiet it, and then eventually, away it goes.” Eventually, he says, “the habit of self-criticism disappears and is replaced by an open-hearted feeling of self-acceptance”. It’s like what Kristin Neff and Brene Brown say – he writes, “the key to integrating it smoothly and effectively into your life is to be gentle and open-hearted with yourself”.

I had to read that a couple of times. It shattered all that I thought meditation was about! I thought it was about maintaining a blank, dark mind (except when I was supposed to be channeling light).

Then, he hits you with a mantra to repeat. It’s good. And of course, when I read it, I immediately started to think, “Really? This is going to work? This is what he wants me to say? I’m not sure…” So, I tried it and followed his steps. I’m going to do it for the next thirty days to see what happens. I’ll keep you posted!

This is the mantra, “I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.” Ha! How perfect is that?! It covers all the bases that I’m working on. From moving from a place of scarcity to abundance to becoming more successful in my endeavors, and inviting more love into my life. AND!!!! The punchline is that I want to provide others with the tools to do the same, to find their happiness, and bam, there it is, “as I inspire those around me to do the same.”

So, what are the instructions? The “how to”?

Hendricks instructs to find a quiet spot for five to ten minutes. Take a minute or two to relax and get settled and then whisper the mantra. Give it some time (seven or so seconds) to sink in. Then breath two breaths – calmly and evenly, and then whisper the mantra again. Repeat the breaths, the mantra, again and again moving at a very slow pace while letting go of tensions and allowing yourself to be with the words and breath. After five to ten minutes, when you feel that you’re done, that you’ve hit a good stopping place, you’re done. Just rest for a couple of minutes before returning to life. If you don’t have a clock or timer, it seems that about fifteen to twenty rounds would be a five-minute cycle.

So, I’m going to do this for the next thirty days to see what happens!

I can tell you that already, one night in, and I’m seeing results (I’m writing this at 4:30 AM) so I guess you could say it’s been all of eight hours! Anyway, abundance came to me when I thought, “Oh, I should like to his book on Amazon, I wonder if I can sign up to get a referral fee or something” Boom! I’ve been trying to figure out how people make money on their sites, and that idea came to me naturally this morning, although I’ve been struggling for two weeks!

The love part of the mantra came when my husband asked, “what were you working on this morning?” And I told him, about the meditating, about the blog, and his response? “That’s great! You’re such a good writer.”

I know!!!!! I’ve had this blog for three weeks and had NO IDEA how I was going to tell Michael, and then it all just rolled out this morning. And his response was perfect!