I just finished reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I loved it. I can’t wait to read it again! I’ve already put it in my calendar to pick up and read in six months, and then once a year after that for ten years (ha! I’ll be 53 when I stop reading it… if I do).

Before Big Magic, I was not a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert. I’d stumbled through the first third of Eat, Pray, Love before I put it down and walked away. When my coach recommended it to me, I thought “ugh, not her” but I kept it to myself. I picked up the book and read. I couldn’t put it down! It took about two weeks to get through.

Every single page resonated with me. From my fear of perfectionism to my fear of writing to reading the laundry list of things that I don’t feel are good enough about me.

When I read the list (it was pages long) they lost their power, because suddenly I realized that I didn’t own them, that those thoughts and feelings aren’t unique to me, that other people feel them too. Wait. What? It was as if I was no longer unique in my self-doubt and criticism because others are thinking the same things about themselves. And, if others are thinking the same things about themselves, well then folks, the playing field was suddenly level because I’m no longer alone or unique or fighting an uphill battle. I realized that if other people have the same self-doubts and insecurities, then I’m no longer alone. Below is a list of some of the doubts that she mentioned (p. 154 to 158)-

You’re afraid someone will steal your ideas so it’s safer to keep them hidden forever in the dark.

• You’re afraid you don’t have the right kind of training or degree

• You’re afraid of being exposed as a hack, or a fool, or a dilettante, or a narcissist

• You’re afraid of upsetting your family by what you may reveal
• You’re afraid of unleashing your innermost demons, and you don’t want to encounter your innermost demons

These are the ones that stood out to me. By the way, the list in her book is four pages long.

I’ve always thought that written words hold great power, that once something is written it’s there for eternity, that you can’t take it back. But, when I read Gilbert’s list of doubts, it was as if they fizzled and evaporated off the page before me. It was incredible. The words lost their power.

They lost their power because I became aware that this famous writer had the same fears, that the thousands of other people who have read her book have the same fears, that the millions of people who haven’t read her book and haven’t heard of Elizabeth Gilbert, have those fears. As I read those words, I saw that there is an entire army of people who have the exact same fears, people who are acting and living on behalf of those fears. There are millions of people who are being held back because of the fears. And suddenly, as this dawned on me, I fethe lt strength in the numbers of people just like me. I fethe lt strength in the fact that I’m not alone. And I felt empowered to do something about it- to believe that I can overcome these thoughts of self doubt.

I started to think of all the ways in which I HAVE overcome these feelings and had a better experience, became a stronger person, became more interesting those times when I looked at the doubt and did it anyway.

This blog is devoted to overcoming the list of doubts listed here. Every time I publish a post I think, “Sara, do you really think it’s a good idea to put all of this stuff out there? I mean, you have a BA in English. ENGLISH. As in, you can read, and write what wisdom will you impart? And why do you think anyone will listen? And, what if you have a great idea and then poof! Someone else takes it. You’re an English major who’s sharing ideas with the world (maybe you should copyright them?) do you think people will follow your suggestions? Hope not because you don’t have the certifications to make suggestions. And BTW, who wants to read about your demons anyway? And better yet, why do you think it’s necessary to share them with the world”?

What do I do in response?

I do it anyway.

1. If I don’t put this stuff out there, where’s it going to go? I need to get it out because up until now, it hasn’t done me an ounce of good. Why continue to hold onto it when I can let it be free?
2. I have BA in English because I love to write. Why wouldn’t I put my writing out there? The more I write, the better I’ll get! I look forward to the day when I’m reading through my old posts and seeing how I’ve grown!
3. My ideas aren’t all unique- and isn’t that fortunate? If they were all unique I’d have a relatability problem, as in no one would relate with me, and I wouldn’t be able to relate with others- that would be lonely.
4. Since when did someone need a certification to write about her own self-discovery? I have a six-year-old who has been extremely confident in articulating her opinions since she was two and she has no degrees or certifications.